Archive for December 2013
Changing Nature of Eurovision – 1914 all over again?
The crowd of angry citizen demanded their basic European right to be represented in the single biggest and most European event in the world. "If our politicians have the right to sit in the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe and the European Parliament, then we artists have right to take part in our version of kitschy sessions", said one of dozens of 'winners' of the Eurovision Song Contest. Several concerts in support of protestors were held with the main message being that the Eurovision Song contest is about feeling European and belonging to Europe.
On Monday morning an EU diplomatic delegation visited Zagreb, Sarajevo and Belgrade to negotiate a reasonable way out. A tweet posted by one Austrian diplomat shows how serious and emotional the situation is: “Is this 1914 or 2014? This is a clear & painful bullet of #BiH, #Croatia & #Serbia directed towards #EuropeanValues”. If citizens protests don’t bring expected reaction on the part of public broadcasters the Danish prime minister will cancel all scheduled selfies and join rightfully angry protestors. One source from within the Danish foreign ministry told More Europe that the prime minister will give a heartwarming speech to protesters and send a clear message to governments concerned that taking part in the Eurovision Song contest on a regular basis is part of the so-called Copenhagen EU membership criteria. Members of the European Parliament's Foreign Affairs Committee are expected to meet in camera and exert extra pressure on countries concerned.
In the UK this decision provoked only a reaction of the member of the UKIP who said to media late on Monday that the Eurovision Song Contest without the three Balkan countries is not worth British taxpayers' money. The Greek Ambassador to the EU said for European Voice that this decision might make FYROM skip this competition because they will have no neighbours to give them points.
Prime ministers of the three Balkan countries will meet later this week to discuss possible steps. As a source from inside the Serbian government told More Europe one should not expect much. Prime ministers will adopt common conclusions giving support for decisions of public broadcasters, and remind everyone that independent and depoliticised public broadcasters are part of European standards. Furthermore they will call on Lady Ashton to use her mediatory skills and once again save a day and win a Nobel peace prize.
The academic community is divided on the impact that decision of the three countries will have on nature of the competition. While one part of the community is worried about the impact it will have on credibility of the project as a European one, the other part is rightfully asking if this means that Eurovision song contest is definitely passé.
Brits Brace Themselves for Immigration Invasion
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| An artist's impression Britain's new arrivals from the East |
A genteel preoccupation of the British is bird watching. This season it
won’t be birds under the watchful gaze of many British binoculars but
immigrants migrating from the East.
On the 1st January the restrictions
on Romanians and Bulgarians from taking full advantage of the free movement of
labour within the EU single market will be lifted. It is warned that as many as
29 million people, representing 100% of the population of Romania and Bulgaria,
will leave their native lands and arrive at a job centre near you.
Rigorous analysis by the British media has uncovered that the only country in
the EU that these newly mobile Bulgarians and Romanians will be intending to make their way to
is the UK; ignoring the geographical and cultural proximity of other European countries and the current economic dynamism of Europe’s largest economy,
Germany. One explanation is the pull of Britain’s world-leading healthcare
system.
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| Standing up for British values |
In reaction to this many politicians are suggesting that the UK refuse
to comply with EU free movement rules on the 1st January. Lord Rumblebumble of UKIP is a proponent
of such a course of action. “I can tell you with absolute certainty that future
historians will look kindly on our party and teach future generations that we
nobly tried to stop hordes of foreign degenerates from entering our jobs
centres, schools, hospitals and women. Just ask an aboriginal Australian or a
Native American, after our ancestors emigrated to their neck of the woods
things didn’t go so well for them, did they?”
He continued. “You have to understand that this wave of immigration,
unlike those of Romans, Danes, Anglo-Saxons, Normans, Huguenots, Jews, Dutch,
Germans, Irish, Italians, Jamaicans, Indians and Chinese; is that, like the Poles,
they come from EASTERN EUROPE – they don’t even know the rules of Cricket! It’s
a hard truth that these people have an innate need to defraud the UK social
welfare system… I personally think that there should not be a social welfare
system at all, but that’s not the point”.
Lord Rumblebumble’s sentiments have wide-reaching appeal. John Smith,
who runs a fish and chips shop on the Costa del Sol that caters to some of
the estimated 1 million Brits who live in Spain, despairs for the future of his
country. “I don’t know much about bird watching but I moved to Spain four years
ago because there are too many foreigners in our country. Send them back to
where they come from!”
Not since the great horde of Genghis Khan swept eastwards from the dark
inner recesses of the Eurasian landmass have British values such as freedom and
tolerance been put in such peril.
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| Born to a family of European immigrants, this woman cost the taxpayer £32.3m in 2011-12 |
Former Government Employee Tenaciously Refuses to Retire
Italian
News Agency reported yesterday that, for currently unknown reasons, a former
employee of the Italian Senate, although 76 years old, is openly challenging
the mandatory retirement. After being notified by his HR office that, despite
two decades of brilliant career, he was no longer fit to serve the country,
S.B. decided to challenge the decision and to show up regularly the next
morning.
The man,
who is not unknown for his extravagant behavior, was spotted in front of the
Senate of the Italian Republic, waving his badge and yelling at younger
employees things like “you are all a bunch of communists!” and “Inter Milan
sucks! While police have been alerted they have decided not to intervene because, if arrested,
the number of trials which the man will be simultaneously subjected to will be
constitutionally illegal and mathematically challenging to calculate.
The
presence of this peculiar character right in the heart of the Italian political
headquarter is generating curiosity: “I am a bit puzzled here” – a lard-arse German tourist commented – “we make jokes about Italians being lazy and stuff. This one is making a fuss because he wants to work more.” “Today, on his first day of retirement,
he got here in the early morning” - a janitor said - “he spent almost two hours
trying to unlock the Senate building main door with a strange key-shaped
electric toy he found at home”. It was also reported that when
Senators began to show up late in the morning, he approached them, one by one, with
a bunch of flyers and invited them to what appeared to be a big-ass party at his
place in the evening.
With his
tireless shouting, running around and yelling, the man's behavior attracted attention from important political personalities as well. Russian Prime Minister Medvedev, who
happened to be in town to discuss the future of gas supplies with Italian PM
Letta, called the meeting off after being informed by his delegation of what
was going on right outside the door.
“Gas supply
is not a priority when tragedies like this one happen every day” he answered
to a journalist. “I wonder whether there is anything I can do for him” he said.
“I talked to him already. He confessed he is afraid no one will show up to his
parties anymore. I think I’ll go, just to cheer him up. Plus, Vladimir said it is worth it.”